Atheist

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” Barack Obama

My first religion can be argued that they in fact are not a religion at all. I start my journey off visiting Oasis Kansas City, a community that embraces atheism.

Before I jump into sharing about my experience at Oasis, I first feel like I need to begin with a little back ground as to what I grew up believing so as to put into perspective my feelings before and after visiting Oasis.

I grew up in a Mennonite church. A fairly small church in and of itself in a very small town in Missouri. When I tell people I grew up in a Mennonite church I instantly have to interrupt myself and explain that I did not grow up Amish and did not wear a bonnet to church every Sunday and yes, I grew up watching allot of television.

The church at its peak had roughly 300 people but towards the end of my time there, which was in my early 20’s, it probably had at most 150. Growing up I remember using the hymnals and being very conscience of what I was allowed to wear to church, aka leaning more towards the modest side. Although, as a teenager you know I tried pushing that line as far as it would go. I remember the pastor up at the pulpit announcing that summer was almost here and that the women needed to be extra mindful of what they wore on Sundays. Yes, that just happened…

I remember as a child being taught that in order to go to heaven you needed to ask Jesus in your heart and I did say that prayer as a kinder gardener. If anyone asked what religious belief I came from I would happily say that I was a Christian. And to this day God is very important to me and I would still categorize myself as a Christian. Although, as I get older and as I step further into this project of 30 before 30, I do find myself leaning less on needing that distinguished label, but I won’t get into that one right now.

I could go into so much detail about what I remember growing up and how it molded me into who I am today but I’ll save that story for another day. What I strongly remember is how growing up “we” aka the people attending that particular church, were the ones who “had all the answers” and were “right” about everything. Basically that just means that I grew up believing that our church was perfect and that everyone and anyone else who believed in something else or went somewhere else had a very strong chance that they were going to hell. Yes, that sounds so incredibly horrible now that I say it as an adult but that is just the message I took in as a child and very young adult. And that’s not to say that that particular message was forced on me but it was what I picked up and what I took away from all my church days.

By all means I do not believe that now but yet I still find myself perceiving people from other religions through the glasses that I once wore as a child. When you grow up a certain way with certain beliefs about the world, it’s quite difficult to come up against those walls and say, “Hey, I think that you walls need to come down and I think that it was wrong to have built them in the first place. I mean what the heck did I know way back then when you walls were being built. I wasn’t even aware that you were being built in the first place. I am pretty sure my mind was on overload with my eighth grade crush. I didn’t realize how bad this could be in the long run.” I’m sorry younger self, if only I knew then what I know today. Don’t we all wish that!

So here I am today and there I was last Sunday walking up and down the street trying to find Oasis Kansas City. I will be honest, I almost did not find the entrance, as it was kind of tucked away behind the building, and therefore I almost gave up and walked into Hamburger Mary’s (a drag queen bar). I mean I was looking for a new experience at this point and boy was the entrance to Oasis hard to find! But I prevailed and said a little prayer in my head that God would lead me to the doors of this atheist church/ not church, so rather atheist gathering.

Yes, I am aware of how very strange that last paragraph must sound… drag queen’s, atheists and God.

But God must have heard my prayer because a few moments later I saw a man with a suitcase roll into what I assumed was Oasis and followed him inside. As I made my way up the stairs I started to hear music and people talking and took a sigh of relief when I realized that I had arrived!

The room itself wasn’t that big but I was really impressed with how modern and chic it looked. There were white leather couches towards the back of the room, very club lounge feel. There were chairs lined up pointing towards a stage with a projector and screen at the front. There was a welcome table and even doughnuts and coffee. Everyone wore a name tag, which I must have missed at the welcome table, but owell.

I decided to sit in the back and immediately met a woman named Stephanie. She had been attending Oasis for four years and she said that there were usually about 150 that attended any given Sunday.

The service began just minutes after I walked in. I meant to be seated earlier but my walk up and down the street with a bit of a lost look as I passed a few drag queens meant that I got there just in time for the service to begin.

The service started with music by an indie hip artist who according to his introduction, drove around in his pick up writing songs and performing where he could. The music wasn’t geared towards any belief, in fact I felt like I was in a coffee shop just relaxing to a great local artist. It was rather refreshing and I knew then that I really liked this vibe. In fact I didn’t feel like I was even at a church, although the welcome desk, the free coffee and doughnuts and the layout did scream church service.

After the music there were announcements and then a community share time where one person from the congregation pre-signed up to share a little bio about themselves or well whatever they wanted to share for about ten minutes. Sharon shared about her part in Oasis’s Micah Ministry. A ministry that Oases members volunteer for on the fourth Monday night of every month. This program helps the homeless and less fortunate people of Kansas City by offering them food, clothes and hygiene products.

After a few more announcements there was a ten minute coffee and doughnut break for mingling and what not. The vibe I got right away was that this was a very non judgmental place. That all of these people looked just like any ordinary person I would see throughout my normal every day life. Now I know that seems rather silly, like duh, of course these people look like people, they are just that, every day ordinary people, But it was a good check in to how my brain has been programmed in the past.

Growing up if someone would have mentioned an atheist, I would have said, “O no, someone who doesn’t believe in a God! How sad, those poor people, we should pray for their souls to be saved. I can’t imagine how sad their lives must be.” Heck, maybe I would have even imagined them being like a group of scientists in white lab coats explaining the big bang theory. O to the imagination!

But all these people seemed very normal. In fact during the coffee break I was merely making my way back from the bathroom and back to my seat and was greeted by three very friendly people who shook my hand and introduced themselves. They asked if I had been there before and how I found their gathering. Well, I have google to thank and the man with the suite case which I followed through a door that thankfully turned out to be the right one. Thank God! ( I didn’t mention God though)

The question, what made me want to join them that Sunday, well I answered honestly. I told them I was there because I had taken it upon myself to follow in Ms. Reba Riley’s foot steps and start my own 30 before 30 challenge. Both women I told this to thought it was great and told me how anyone is welcomed at Oasis. It turns out that the announcer that Sunday was a Jehovah’s witness. So I guess at Oasis, an atheist church, not everyone has to believe in the same thing. One can believe whatever they want and still feel welcomed. The energy and idea that I got from talking to a few people was that this was a place of community and being together was the main focus, no madder how you grew up or what you believed in now.

The service continued with some more music and then featured Hank Osterhout, executive director of Kansas Free for Arts, as their main speaker. I wasn’t able to stay for more than a few minutes of Hank’s speech because I was beginning a nasty cold of coughing non stop and needing to blow my nose every other minute. And I guess being in a small room with little outside air circulation just caused my cough to become more consistent and noticeable. Like that scratch in your throat that just won’t go away. So after I had finished all the water in my water bottle I discretely slipped out the back door. Feeling a little bad that I didn’t stay for the whole service but also happy to walk out feeling like I had come and conquered.

It felt somewhat exhilarating that I had attended an atheist gathering and really enjoyed it. I can now put faces to this community! I can now say that I attended an atheist gathering and felt completely welcomed. I don’t know if I will be able to say the same with every place I visit, honestly probably not, but I can definitely say that I felt welcomed there at Oasis one bright and sunny Sunday morning.

Oasis Five Values:

People are more important than beliefs

Reality is known through reason

Human hands solve human problems

Meaning comes from making a difference

Be accepting and be accepted