Mennonite

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.” H. Jackson Brown

As I drove to Rainbow Mennonite Church this morning I said a little prayer out loud. I prayed that I wouldn’t walk into this church with my past ideas and memories of how I grew up. These were new people, this was a new place of worship and to stay true to my main goal, I wanted to remain open minded.

As stated in my last blog post, I grew up from birth to around age 22 in a Mennonite church. And it wasn’t until last week when I attended a traditional Baptist church, that I realized I may have sore memories of the church that I grew up in.

As my roommate reminded me this week, just because we have moved past a time in our life, doesn’t mean that those feelings have gone away. Everything unresolved has a way of showing back up in our lives.

I wondered, how traditional would this church be? Did the word, Rainbow have anything to do with being gay or lesbian? Were they saying to the public that they were both traditional and yet welcoming of anyone no matter their sexual orientation? I remember when a good friend of mine that grew up with me in church came out that he was gay and a chunk of his family disowned him. I don’t remember ever seeing him in that church again. So was this church in any way associating their name with such a thing or was the name given a long time ago before people associated rainbows with gay pride? I was about to find out.

Off the highway and under the bridge and over the train tracks to Rainbow Mennonite I drove. There were cars over flowing out of the parking lot and into a one way street. I was so very glad that I spotted reserved visitor’s parking!

The first thing that I noticed was their play ground area. It was adjoining to their parking lot. It looked very well kept and as a nanny of a two year old, I am always keeping my eyes open for new parks to explore.

The building itself was made of stone and had a very traditional look with its stain glass windows. Upon walking in I was greeted by two very nice ladies at the welcome desk. First things first, find a bulletin! My keepsakes for every place I visit and it also makes for something to look at before service begins. (A plus since I don’t have a smart phone to look down at if feeling a bit non social at the beginning.)

These two ladies were very welcoming and seemed so very sweet and genuine. Smiles all around. One woman was even from my part of town which was roughly 20 minutes away. With so many other options for churches just minutes away from my door step, I sensed that she was dedicated to make the further drive out to this particular church. In my book crossing state lines from Kansas to Missouri means dedication!

I didn’t sit in the front row this time. I was flying solo today and so I felt my comfort zone pulling me into the middle of the crowd. The middle felt safe!

Bulletin in hand and head down as I began to read the line up for today’s service. Again, looking down at the bulletin is my go to and feels better than looking around like a dear in the headlights until the service begins.

It wasn’t until the announcer made her way up front that I really got to take in the beauty of this church. There was an organ up front and a big black grand piano on the opposite side of the stage. There was an alter with a wooden cross and purple and black scarfs draping behind it. The alter was made of wood but it wasn’t polished and shiny, it was very raw and natural looking.

What really caught my eye was the hanging chandelier lights. They were hanging from the white beams on the ceiling. The lights were almost identical to the ones I used to stare at every Sunday morning as a child. The color shading may have been a little lighter but other than that their appearance was identical.

The service began with reading Psalm 121 as a congregation. Reading out loud as a group feels very traditional to me. Something I have only experienced when visiting a Catholic or Lutheran service a few years ago.

Then we all stood and sang a hymn. O the hymnals! Opening up an old hymnal and reading each verse and seeing the musical notes just brought back a flood of memories. Ones of being in church as a child and others of being in music class. But the memories weren’t bad, in fact I found the song very peaceful and beautiful.

I also took notice that there was allot of white hair in the congregation. In fact almost the entire congregation was elderly. I noticed only a handful of men and woman in their early to mid 30’s and I literally mean I could count them on one hand.

There was an offering time. One with the children of the congregation and one with ushers passing around the offering plates. I came empty handed, only carrying in my car keys. It didn’t even dawn on me that some churches take up an offering during their services. I quickly passed the offering plate to the next person and during the children’s coin take up, I diligently didn’t make eye contact with the little ones. Woops…

I haven’t attended a church on a regular basis in probably 9 months now so I am a little forgetful for what all can be expected. And even more so I feel like I am walking into these churches a bit blind folded, I really have no idea what to expect. So note to self, maybe bring coins and some cash with me just in case the children come around with their big adorable eyes asking for your spare change.

Onto the preaching… I didn’t even realize the preaching had even started when the main speaker, a woman, walked on stage. She gave a little introduction and said that a man named Aaron had asked her a few Sunday’s ago if she would share a few chapters of John this Sunday. I thought she was going to read a few verses and then step away from the stage and then we would be onto the next part of the service. Well, she did not! She read and spoke on John and then eventually part way through her speech I realized that she was giving the message!

I really was paying attention but her introduction was a funny story of how excited she was when Aaron had asked her to read from John this morning and then how later he followed up by stating that she was to read only a few versus and then sit back down. Thinking he thought that was just enough for her. So whether or not she really could have just come up and read a few versus from John and then sat down or was expected to draw it out a bit more, I don’t know.

Her verse reading and sermon was well received. I later thought about it and realized that the reason I didn’t realize she was the main speaker giving the sermon was because the way she spoke was so down to earth. Her approach wasn’t like most pastor’s teachings. She didn’t direct us to turn in our Bibles to where she was going to be teaching from. She didn’t come across super serious, in fact she came across as the friend you meet for coffee and share a bunch of laughs with. It was so incredibly refreshing and I found myself really paying attention to what she was saying.

In one part of her speech she referenced a story about a college aged boy who was in an interview with a Baptist college. The boy was flying through the interview with all the “right” answers when one of the panelists asked him what the most important thing he wanted from his life. The boy gave the answer he thought they wanted to hear which was, get married to a wonderful woman and have children. The panelist who asked that question just stared at him for a few moments and then uttered these powerful words, “What if what you really wanted from life was what God actually wanted for your life too.”

The boy eventually became a pastor of a church in Colorado and also had the courage to come out that he was gay.

The moral of the sermon was to be aware of not forming our whole selves into the walls of the church. To hold onto what you believe in but to also find the courage to step out side of the rules and doctrines and find your relationship with God, however that may look for you. Wow! Drop the mick and walk away because that was some powerful stuff!

The service ended on a funny note where the woman announcer and the woman who preached stood up front and told a funny story relating to today’s special occasion, International Woman’s day! Also, making me wonder if today’s service was more focused on woman running the service or if woman have a high involvement in each service.

I am so grateful that I found my way to the Rainbow Mennonite Church this morning. The walls may have felt super traditional but the people said so much more. They were real and genuine and passionate. They were funny and I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect to laugh out loud with the congregation as many times as I did, in fact I didn’t expect to laugh at all.

This church had the opposite effect on me than what I expected when driving there today. It didn’t bring back not so happy past memories of the church I grew up in. Yes, there were some similarities but what I walked away with was seeing how real and genuine this church family was.

I recognized for a moment that maybe I have been concentrating on the black spot on the white piece of paper when referring to my childhood church community. Nobody is perfect and sure there was imperfection growing up. If you stick around a church or any type of community you become like family and shocker, all families have their fair share of drama. We also become the most offended by those that are the closest to us.

As a child I felt forced to attend church. It felt like the bigger focus was on the rules and less on the relationship with God. Sitting in the pews today I fully embraced my own personal adult relationship with God. A relationship that isn’t held up by so many rules and regulations but by true love and grace. A relationship where each day I know that God will meet me where I am at.

This morning I sat in the pews with a new peace and open mindedness. I was there this morning because I wanted to be. The chains of force weren’t on me today. That freedom changes everything. I was able to embrace their traditional and modern ways with a brand new peace in my heart.

“Sometimes in the wind of change, we find our true direction.” author unknown