Rime means “no sides”, “non-partisan” or “non-sectarian”

What this journey of 30 religions before I turn 30 is doing to me so far can best be described as Rime, not taking any one side. My previous judgments of other religions are finally starting to shatter all around me. I see real people behind each service, each new religion and it’s a beautiful thing!

This once ultra conservative Christian is attending a Rime Buddhist service and yet nothing about it feels strange. I look forward to seeing and understanding how and what other people believe in.

I realized how much my mindset has changed as I talked to my mom this morning over the phone and could hear her judgement and mostly non understanding as to why I was going to attend a Buddhist service this morning. I quickly changed the subject as I am also starting to understand that most people aren’t open to understanding my project and well that is perfectly okay.

Rime Buddhist Center of Kansas City…

If I had to sum up this service in one word it would be “centering.” There were three different meditation times during one service. So different than a church service in the sense that this service seemed more about listening to your inner self than it was about being taught something. It’s as though I was the teacher of myself. I was given that freedom to listen to my thoughts, my breath, my body.

Leaving the service my mind wasn’t running through the normal race of processing what was taught and how I agreed or disagreed.

This service was so refreshing. Which makes me ask the question, can we be taught more with silence than with lectures? I don’t have the answer for that and it probably just depends on the situation. But in such a go go world with noises in every corner of our lives, it was just so good to be intentional about sitting still and being quite.

What I would like to say someday is that I am more comfortable in the stillness than I am in the noisy every day world. This is more on my mind because yesterday I looked into airbnb’s in Central America. I found three perfect tiny homes off grid overlooking the most lovely lake. (And background on that seems necessary… I am planning on traveling full time come the end of the year. That’s it in a nutshell.)

And as much as I want to be there NOW! I also know that I will have to come face to face with the stillness and some loneliness. My friends and family won’t be close and part of me will feel so alone. And as scary as that thought is, I know that I have to go! I have to sit with myself for months and just get to know myself as I enter the very beginnings of my 30’s.

I picture myself sitting outside overlooking the lake, meditating, feeling the wind blow across my face, the sun shining down, the noises of the purest nature noises.

So when I meditate these days, that is what I imagine. That is where parts of my heart and soul are. They sit there quietly just waiting for my body to show up.

“Someone asked me what is your religion? I said, “All the paths that lead to The Light.”” -author unknown

It has been a couple weeks since I have watched a service. I have been feeling unmotivated to give my time to this project. I just truly needed a bit of a break, a pause, a time out from it all. I felt a bit guilty and wondered if my new project would even continue. I have decided to drop the bag of guilt and do what feels right to me.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t realize how much opening myself up to so many new religions and spiritual practices would effect me. I feel like I am stuck somewhere in the middle of what I grew up believing and the other extreme side of things. I feel as though I am in a place of learning to respect others in whatever it is they believe. I question how I have lived so much of my life devoted to one primary religion.

I never much questioned what came from the pulpit when I attended church on a regular basis. Looking back I was basically blindly following what was taught. It is finally now at age 29 that I am stepping back and seeing all things through different lenses.

I continue to have respect for all practices and beliefs. I admire those who are preaching or teaching to others. I see those who devote their whole lives to what they believe in and that is a beautiful thing. I see others give their time to join in on live sermons. I see others volunteering in groups to help their community during COVID-19.

So with that update on where my head is at, I will write a little about the sermon I watched this morning from New Haven Seventh Day Adventist Church in Overland Park, Kansas.

This particular church I almost attended live a few months back. This particular church has only Saturday services. I don’t quite remember why I didn’t end up going. I do believe I was fully dressed in my Sunday best on a bright and sunny Saturday morning but for some reason didn’t make it to their service.

I may not have made it out the door for their service way back when but I did tune in for their service this morning. A cup of coffee and bagel in hand, I was ready to jump back in another religion.

The service at New Haven was a pre-recorded service from last month. It was about 30 minutes, which once clicking on the service I was ecstatic about! What I just loved so much about this service was that they skipped all the introduction and worship and just started right with the sermon. Score!

The pastor was funny and had an accent, unsure of what kind exactly. He said his whole sermon was based off of a picture he saw this week of a woman holding a sign during a protest that said, “Sacrifice the weak, re-open Tennessee.”

Sr. Pastor Elsey then read from Matthew and covered the first three Beatitudes.

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth.

I thought it was somewhat brave of him to choose this topic. It was very pastor like of him to challenge people, maybe even all of us, during a time of true hardship for many. To stand up and say blessed are those who are mourning… hmmm. I am not sure what would comfort me during a time of mourning but I don’t think this sermon in particular would be what I wanted to hear. But maybe it did bring comfort to someone out there and maybe for the rest of us it was more of a challenge and something to think about when our time of hardship comes.

The point that Pastor Elsey ended with was; we are encourage by this world to live a life that is very different from the Bible’s teachings. Those that believe and follow Jesus Christ should be living different from the non believers of this world.

This sermon was a good reminder that a Christian’s life should be different from everything that we are surrounded by. It makes me sit here and think about my own life today. Am I living a life that is truly Christ centered or am I living a life more set to the beat of this current world? Is there an in between or would that make me luke warm? Can I live with God at the center of my heart and yet not be to the extreme that I grew up believing Christians should be?

Once again more questions than answers and yet I am okay with that. I am encouraged by these questions because it means that I am not following so blindly and that I am being challenged in whole new way.

To be challenged means to grow and I embrace the growing pains.

“Heavenly Father, give us the discernment to make decisions that enable us to follow the path you have set before us. Enable us to trust that the Holy Spirit is with us, guiding us. Help us to accept our past, enjoy our present, and embrace our future.” Prayer of Discernment

This morning I virtually visited the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception, Kansas City Missouri for their Easter Vigil. Yes, it is already Easter. I can’t hardly believe it, the time has just flown by. Spring is finally here and my heart is immediately uplifted by the thoughts of new blooms on the trees and baby bunnies hopping around outside my back porch. It is my favorite time of the year!

My background with the Catholic church is well very limited. I have attended a few Catholic weddings in the last few years. They were nice, very traditional and yet somehow not quite as long as I imagined a Catholic wedding would be. This was very much appreciated!

Not that this much effected me but my mom grew up Catholic. Well, come to find out her family was only apart of the Catholic church for a few short years. She never much talked about her past brush with the Catholic church so I didn’t grow up with allot of knowledge about this religion.

My dad’s brother and his family were Catholic and two families that I have been a nanny for in the past have been Catholic. And really none of these connections sprouted much knowledge about this particular faith.

When someone mentions the Catholics I would say the first few things that pop into my head would be; long services, nuns, communion, rosary beads and the good old pope! Quite a colorful picture for sure. What can I say, it’s what comes to my mind.

I have to be honest, viewing this service was not the most exciting part of my day. I had to pause a few times for breaks before I finished most of the service. I was correct about at least one thing, the services are LONG!

This is no disrespect to anyone who is Catholic but boy am I thankful that I was not raised in a Catholic church. I had a hard time keeping my eyes open during our hour and fifteen minute (that’s when service ran long) Mennonite church service, so I can’t imagine the pokes and prods I would have gotten if I was made to sit for two hour services.

I may not have found much inspiration from the service that I watched, I’ll be really honest. It was long and my attention span is obviously not made for this kind of commitment But what I will say is that I have a new respect for all those who sit in those pews for service. I tip my hat off to you all, you are stronger and more dedicated than I am.

The service itself may not have moved me into wanting to convert to the Catholic faith but what I did really enjoy was all the singing. The bishops/priests sang beautifully! There were also women who sang as well, although I am not sure what their proper title would have been. During one song I just sat there and closed my eyes and took in all the beautiful notes playing over my laptop speakers. It was a bit meditative…

Also, this particular cathedral was just beautiful! The architecture and design was really breathtaking. To be honest, I wanted to partly just be there in person just to take in the setting. Wow!

All in all I am glad that I was able to watch the Easter Vigil at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception. It was a truly beautiful service, one filled with tradition and love for the Lord. I have a new respect for all those who practice the Catholic faith on a regular basis. May I be able to have just an ounce of your attention span someday.

And maybe someday I will be able to walk into this particular cathedral and find myself wowing at the beautiful architecture.

“Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different. Enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will). Being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t). -James Baraz

Spring is here! It’s my most favorite time of the year. This afternoon after getting off work I came home and moved the kitchen table outside to the patio where my roommate and I have sitting outside and working on all the things for the last few hours.

Just moments ago we looked at each other and agreed that we had to stay out here until the sunset graces our space. A glass of wine may be to come in a few minutes. This is the life that I live for.

So with this seventy degree weather and a sweet cool breeze in my hair, I decided that the setting was just perfect for a meditation service. I clicked away and found that the Kansas City Meditation Group of SRF just launched their first zoom meditation service a few days ago. One more click and I was there (well sort of) with Brother Chidananda.

As I write this post I am feeling quite zen like and light. I’m sure that the glass of wine is going to be the cherry on top of this delightful feeling. With that all said, I think this post will be short and sweet.

The SRF stands for Self-Realization Fellowship. It was founded in 1920 by Paramahansa Yogananda. The Fellowship is dedicated to promoting a greater understanding and harmony among the world’s various religions by teaching the fundamental principle of religion: how to commune personally with God.

Now I have been a fan of meditation for a little bit now. Yoga, meditation, centering I am a big fan of it all! Again, this service would have been a joy to attend in person but the COVID-19 has changed those initial plans. Honestly, because I am sitting outside in my lawn chair with my kitchen table and laptop in front of me, I really can’t complain. To be honest, maybe this is an even better setting to enjoy a meditation service.

If I am being honest, I do wish that I had a more routine meditation practice. I tend to keep it up for a couple days then let it slip and before you know it, it has been a few weeks since I can remember being intentional about my practice. I suppose it is what it is but when I do make that time for stillness, I end a session remembering why it is that I love meditation so much.

For me personally, meditation is a space that I can just focus on hearing my thoughts (which there is allot of) then let them go without judgement (this tends to be harder said than done). Recognizing and releasing. Hearing ones inner self. Yes, something like that! And in between all of that, trying not to fall asleep half way through. Yes, this tends to happen too. I’m a work in progress!

This particular meditation service was an hour long. There was a ten to fifteen minute introduction time and then Brother Chidananda lead everyone into prayer and chanting with a thirty to forty minute silent meditation. To end our time together Brother Chidananda stood up and vigorously rubbed his hands together and repeated another prayer then ending with an Aum and Amen!

What I really loved about this service was that Brother Chidananda was very open towards all different types of religious leaders. There was mention of God and Guru’s and many other different names that I could hardly pronounce let alone spell. I have to say as someone who doesn’t pray or follow a Guru (I’m not sure which term would best describe having a Guru), I felt completely comfortable with everything said during our time together. There was no awkward feeling at all that I wasn’t a regular attendee of their services.

This was such an enjoyable service to attend! I am not sure if all would consider meditation a religion but I am counting it as one because many people do attend the Kansas City Meditation Group of SRF and they hold strong to what they believe in. To me that is the heart of religion. Showing up and making space for something that you believe in, something that you can feel within, something that connects you to a deeper part of yourself and with something higher than you.

I put my hands together and say an Aum and Amen to anyone reading this right now…

“Take the risk of thinking for yourself, much more happiness, truth, beauty, and wisdom will come to you that way.” —Christopher Hitchens

This morning I awoke at around 3:30 am… I tried so hard to fall back asleep, I mean it was a Saturday after all! My mind was on fire and I knew the feeling well enough. I could either lay there staring up at the darkness for a few more hours or I could get up, make some coffee and watch a Minyan service. I chose the second.

A strange thing to say to someone, “I woke up before the crack of dawn and tuned into a Jewish service because what else was I going to do so early, still be sleeping? O and by the way I am not Jewish.” So is the life I lead I suppose.

So there I was curled up in my bed with a hot cup of coffee, hoping that it would wake me up some more so that I could look alive for this service. I wanted to be ever present for Minyan at the Congregation Beth Shalom but my head was still in fog mode and I found myself loathing itself for not being able to wake up even two hours later to watch this service. Could I not have woken up on a Saturday morning at say, 5:30 am?

But enough of my complaining as I was able to watch Minyan through a Facebook live video at the wee early hours of this morning. Now no worries, the Jews weren’t up at 3:30 am praying, singing and congregating. No, it was just me. I watched their Minyan video from a few days ago. (I’m sure they were all sound asleep, as any good person was that early.)

My only past anything to do with the Jewish faith was back in seventh grade. My teacher, Ms. Burton, whom I’m guessing was Jewish, had us all participate in the Passover Seder. “This ritual feast that marks the beginning of the Jewish holiday of Passover. It is conducted throughout the world on the evening of the 14th day of Nisan in the Hebrew calendar.” -Wikipedia

I remember us all sprawled out on the ground of our classroom forming a circle. She would explain what everything meant and we would try different foods. Most of the foods were foreign to me and I feel as though there was hummus involved. It may have been the first time I had tried hummus. I guess that’s something a person remembers, their first hummus on a cracker interaction.

So this is about the sum total of my Jewish experiences. Now if we go back to just a few memories I have growing up in my Mennonite traditional “Christian” church. I would say that it was all very confusing. We were taught that the Jews were God’s chosen people. I grew up learning about God using Moses to lead His people, the Israelites, out of Egypt and into the promise land. But the confusing part was that I remember the Jews being in this separate category, you know like all the other religions I’ve visited up until this point. There was us, the almighty Christians (I squirm in my seat as I write that), the Atheists, the Baptists, the Methodists and then there was the Jews.

My question, if they were God’s chosen people and they were such a big part of the Bible, New and Old Testament, then why was the message being relayed back to me that they were going to hell because they didn’t believe and worship the same way we did? One has to admit, it was a good question.

To be honest I still wouldn’t know how to answer that question to a wondering eleven year old. I think that through this whole personal journey so far and through watching Morgan Freeman’s Netflix series, “Who is God?”, I by all means do not understand enough to tell someone or a religious group whether or not they are going to heaven or hell or whatever after life proceeds this one. Who am I to decide? What size is my understanding compared to the great Creator of this universe? Maybe this is going to deep for a Saturday morning two cups of coffee mindset, but can people find God through any religion?

Well, with all those questions out there I suppose it’s time to start writing about the service at Congregation Beth Shalom.

The service was lead solely by Senior Rabbi David Glickman. This service was recorded a few days ago and according to him it was their first Facebook live recording. To anyone reading this years in the future and aren’t connecting the publishing dates with what was happening around the world, the city of Overland Park, along with other states, have officially called for a lock down in hopes to stop the spread of COVID-19. Some places are open but for the safety of all, places of worship are closed for at least the next month.

Rabbi Glickman started service welcoming everyone watching online, along with the five other people who were present for the service. He apologized that they had to close their doors to the general public and members of Beth Shalom because of specific orders from the government. He said that he received a few emails from members who were upset about this. (Now, as the days have progressed and more information has come to light, I hope that those who were angry now see how fast this virus is spreading and feels it right to take back any words said in anger. Just saying…)

But the service will prevail despite world epidemics! Rabbi Glickman started service with a morning blessing and then shared a few words from a book called, Living Each Day by Rabbi Abraham Taski. The focus to his words was that God can hear our prayers anytime and anywhere.

I will be honest, I won’t be able to relay all the little details and exact names of payers that Rabbi Glickman lead us in. Most of the service was in what I assume would be Hebrew. And for those of you who don’t know me, I speak Hebrew like I speak French, German and Swedish… all of those being nadda!

The service was a continuous variation of prayers, readings and moments of silence. Occasionally Rabbi Glickman would reference certain pages, page 36 now, page 55 now, top of page 89 now. I believe at times he was reading from the Torah.

When it came time for page 79, Rabbi Glickman and the five in person attendees sang. The second go around Rabbi Glickman asked the people there to speak up so that those watching from home could hear them better. It reminded me of my elementary music teacher who would encourage us to sing louder. “Louder…. grandma in the back row can’t hear your voice little Stefan!” She would yell.

Once the ceremony came back to English I could understand what was being said, well a little better. (haha) Rabbi Glickman announced that it was custom to pray for Israel, the state of Israel and the front line people in Israel dealing with COVID-19. The prayer was beautiful and I too bowed my head in prayer.

After prayer, Rabbi Glickman asked Richard to go on stage and open the ark. In Jewish synagogues the ark holds sacred Torah scrolls used for public worship. The camera turned, as it wasn’t facing the stage the whole time, and there was a beautiful wooden ark. Then the Rabbi read a list of names. I think that they were people that needed prayer. He then asked each person sitting there in the crowd if they had names to add. After they finished he asked anyone on Facebook if they had names they wanted read out loud and if so to put them in the comment box. No other names were added and so Richard closed the ark.

The service was coming towards and end and Rabbi Glickman thanked everyone by name on Facebook live for attending. There was even someone tuning in from Morocco. It is kind of wild to think of who can attend via the internet. Wow, technology!

After watching the service at Congregation Beth Shalom I didn’t exactly jump into writing all about it. Usually I watch a service, or attend a live one (O, how that seems like forever ago) and then write about my experience right away so all the details are fresh in my mind. But this morning my eyes hurt just a little too much to do so. I watched the service, then went about procrastinating as much as possible, plus I was also really tired. I looked up what a praying shawl and the tefillin straps were that Rabbi Glickman and Richard both wore were. Somehow I found a list of the best looking Jewish actors and found my love, Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal was at the top. All the sudden Jewish men became a whole lot more attractive to me. Also, I didn’t realize how many men in Hollywood were Jewish. An important fact I came across today, very proud of that! I listened to some Taylor Swift and then finally when my eyes could take no more, fell asleep watched a part of Morgan Freeman’s, “Who is God?”.

As I finally woke back up a few hours later to the sounds of my upstairs neighbor’s dog scratching at the door, I realized that I still have little knowledge on the Jewish faith. Maybe because most of the service was read in what I think was Hebrew. I didn’t feel like I ended this service with too much greater knowledge on the faith than how I started the service. I also realized that people study the Jewish faith for years and years and years. That like my own faith, there is always something new to learn or a new enlightenment to come across. I can’t by any means come to understand this faith in an hour but what I can do is see the people behind this faith. The ones showing up for something that they believe in. Knowing that people were tuning in from Morocco to be apart of this service. Wow! That is pretty amazing if you ask me.

There are thousands of Jewish people all over the world and to have entered into just a small part of it today was such a blessing. I am so very curious of this faith, these people and Israel the Holy Land.

I end this post with more questions still about this faith than answers but I can deal with that. I want to understand more, I want to listen intently, I want to connect more people’s names and faces with new religions. To see their passion is encouraging to me and my own faith. We all have to start somewhere, a jumping off point if you may, and this is my jumping off point.

“If you ask me who God is, I would say there is a bit of the divine in all of us. There’s God in you, there’s God in me. The God in me is who I really am at my core. The God in me is the best version of me. The God in me is who I strive to be… who I was meant to be.” -Morgan Freeman

“According to a 2015 Pew Research Center study, by 2050, the Christian population is expected to be 2.9 billion.” -Wikipedia

A few days ago I watched Hillcrest Christian Church’s Facebook live church service.

I will be honest, I really thought that I had an idea what this service would be like, what the church auditorium would look like, what the pastors and band would look and sound like, but I have to say, I was wrong.

Now it would stand to reason that I should expect the unexpected by now. That I would have learned by now to not walk into a service (or rather click on a service) and think I know what it’s going to be like. As usual, I ended the service thinking, “very different than what I had expected.”

As stated before in past posts, I am a Christian. I was raised in a traditional Mennonite Church. For twenty plus years my idea of a “Christian church” was how I was raised. I knew no different. Boy was my mind blown upon becoming very involved in two non denominational churches in my mid to late twenties. I bet you can see this coming but my new mental picture of the “Christian church” changed into a new picture.

The first non denominational church I found was mind blowing. Lights, camera, action…Wow! I felt like I was at a concert and Jesus was who everyone was raising their hands to and jumping up and down for. I fell in love with this church, the people, the messages, the staff, the atmosphere, just everything. Upon entering this particular church I was in a place of contemplation and searching. This church family seemed right for so many reasons.

So then this church became the idea of what Christianity looked like to me. I signed up for multiple committees, many volunteer opportunities and even mission trips. They all enhanced my life and I also met some amazing people this way. I was passionate, I was all in!

I eventually moved towns and decided that I needed a new place to worship so enters the second non-denominational church. Same as the last church, I would consider this community a fun and loving group of good Christian people. The church was huge actually (not quite mega church big, but big) and I fell right in. I didn’t jump into things so abruptly like I had the other church but I eventually volunteered a little bit. The church’s teachings and beliefs were very similar to the other church so my idea of “the Christian church” stayed the same.

I tell you all of this because my time with Hillcrest Christian Church was nothing like the past two churches I was involved with. Actually, it was a bit more like the traditional church that I grew up in and that really caught me off guard. Now I know I said that the churches I chose were technically non denominational, but I still considered them the quote on quote “Christian church”.

Upon looking at Hillcrest Christian’s website, I gathered that this church was going to be like the last two church’s I attended. I thought they would lean more towards modern and less towards traditional. Well, I was wrong, again. And I laugh about it all because when it comes to this project, I love being wrong! I am actually enjoying that I have to replace past ideas and judgments with actual experiences. I’ve never been more happy to be wrong about something! (This coming from a Type A personality.)

It wasn’t but moments after clicking on Hillcrest Chrisitan Church’s Facebook live video that I came to the conclusion that this service was going to be allot more traditional than I thought. The camera pointed to the stage, a small stage compared to the Methodist’s service I had just finished watching minutes earlier. I was getting a little bit of everything this morning. I almost threw in a Jewish Orthodox service as well that day but after the two services, I thought it would be best to leave well enough alone. My mind was on overload, in a good way of course!

The service started as many others, with an introduction and a time for prayer. Then it was back to the hymnal with, Great is Thy Faithfulness. There was a woman who stood at the pulpit and lead the song. She was a petite blond with short hair. She lead the song in true soprano form.

I thought it was really cool to see a traditional church on my screen and yet see the Facebook emojis going up on the screen. There were thumbs up and hearts. It was nice to see the support the singers and speakers were getting from people sitting in the comfort of their own homes.

As the service continued, the numbers of people watching live kept increasing. Maybe there were a few sleepy heads in the bunch. When I first signed in at the very beginning there was about eight of us watching. Wow, I thought, I am never this early to a service! As the service continued I think there was around 55 people signed in and enjoying Hillcrest Christian’s service.

Pastor Neil Engle eventually made his way to the microphone. He started out by letting everyone know that if anyone needed anything during this coronavirus scare, that they could message or call him on his personal cell at any time. Right away, I was feeling the love from Pastor Neil Engle, he really seemed to care about his congregation.

The whole sermon was based around John 9 which entails Jesus healing a blind man by spitting in dirt and rubbing the then mud on the blind man’s eyes. I imagine anyone who isn’t religious or who hasn’t familiarized themselves with the Bible, that this story would seem pretty weird. Rubbing mud on a blind man’s eyes so that he could be healed and see the world for the first time. O no, wait, not just mud but mud that someone made from their own spit! And yet this is not the weirdest or grossest story in the Bible. not even close.

Instead of jumping right into a sermon, they played a ten to fifteen minute clip from the movie called, Gospel of John. The movie clip showed the healing of the blind man. They showed this clip from a projector on their back wall and then zoomed the camera as close as they could to the screen so all of us at home could see as best as we could.

After the movie clip there was another prayer time. This time it was specified for the coronavirus and everyone that it is effecting right now. Yes and Amen, we could all use more prayer in our lives right now.

There was another solo from the blond soprano and then another woman came up on stage to ask for offering. Well, kind of offering. I think it was geared towards the children but I’m sure if the adult congregation was sitting in those seats, they would have given too. The woman held up a big pink piggy bank. It was the cutest of all things, really it was! The best part though was that his name was Porky. Mr. Porky was looking for quarters and boy did he look hungry. Too bad there was only like three people in that sanctuary… But online giving was a later option so to all those sending in their offerings this week, Mr. Porky thanks you! O and while the pig was being passed around to the three people leading the service, the woman who originally brought up Mr. Porky sang the song, Jesus Loves the Little Children. Now, that is a classic that I have engraved in my childhood memories.

The sermon tied back to the book of John by reminding us that we all have blind spots. Pastor Engle used the example of driving, we all have blind spots while driving our vehicles. As a driver, we know to watch for other vehicles in our blind spots because we are very aware that we have them. But unlike driving we can have blind spots in our lives and yet not realize that they are even there. Example one, in our personal relationships. Example two, your relationship with Jesus. If we know we have blind spots then we can be more aware of checking them!

After the sermon there was communion. Everyone at home was encouraged to find something at home to eat and drink so that they could join in on this moment of remembrance.

I did not partake in communion at home and to be honest, I’m not sure when the last time I did partake in communion was… It’s clearly been a while. I also have a little PTCS (post traumatic church syndrome) of this particular religious act. Every time they announce that it’s communion time, in any church I’ve been to, I automatically start thinking of when I last repented of my sins was. And then, since that’s usually been a while, I start trying to think of all my sins since then… this is always a long list and two thirds of which I am sure to not remember. I do this act automatically because my childhood pastor always emphasized how big of a deal communion was. Which, of course it is!

I remember him reading passages from the bible telling us that if we took of communion and didn’t repent from all of our sins, every last one, that we could become sick and start sleeping allot. It always terrified me and I drank the red grape juice and eat the small chunk of bread with sweaty palms. I didn’t usually feel comfortable just passing the plates because if I did then it was a clear sign to everyone that I had some deep dark sin that I was still wrestling with. I didn’t want to be that person… who wanted to be that person?

Anyways, I am not really sure how I see communion these days or how I should see it. And it’s never something I really think about until I am sitting there in a service, or watching a service, and someone announces that surprise, it’s communion Sunday! O great …. just my luck, here goes my long list of sins I need to be forgiven of. Maybe someday I can partake in communion without hesitation, without wanting to exit the service before the grape juice is passed, but for now those are the memories I still hold to.

Now although this church did bring back some past life hesitations, it also reminded me of what it means to be apart of such a close knit community. Now I could be wrong but if the live attendance was any conclusion to the regular attendance then this church was on the smaller side. It was a place where everyone knows everyone’s name. I grew up in such a place. A place where if anyone was in the hospital or had a loss in the family then you ought to expect the Richards to make you food for the next month, expect the Shrocks to take care of your kids during the day, expect the Reynolds to mow your grass for the next few weekends, and expect the Dewleys to clean your house once a week and do your laundry (those Dewleys are great people!).

Being in this kind of close knit community means that these people you worship with on Sundays aren’t just people you see once a week for an hour or two, they are family. They are people who are invested in your lives just as much as you are invested in theirs. And that is a true blessing right there.

My roommate and I have been talking allot about how the coronavirus has been effecting other people. We, and I mean more so her, are concerned about how this illness is effecting everyone right now. (I’m concerned but she’s truly a step above most and is deeply concerned about the world right now. She freaking cares!) It’s so easy to find yourself in a pit of despair if you think too long and hard about all the people who are loosing their jobs right now or who is sick. Today, hearing Hillcrest Christian’s service, I was reminded that there are lots and lots of people who call churches and other close knit communities their homes. Who are being taken care of by these groups during this epidemic. Not only was it emphasized to reach out for help within the church but it was also just as strongly pointed out that during this time we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those around us.

It was so encouraging to be apart of Hillcrest Christian Church this morning and I wish their congregation many blessings!

“We don’t have to do it all alone. We were never meant to.” -Brene Brown

“We all came in different ships, but we’re all in the same boat now.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

The one word to best describe my experience as I watched the live service from Church of the Resurrection Leawood this morning would be, diversity.

This morning I sat here at my kitchen table, lap top open as I started scrolling through my 30 religions list. Which one should I watch this morning?

Now, I’ll be honest, this particular Methodist church, I so badly wanted to visit in person. This church is Huge! As my roommate walked out to the living area/ kitchen area (it’s a small apartment), she asked which church I was visiting/watching this morning. I described this church as the mega church that, depending on where you look from, you can see from miles away.

I remember when I first saw this church building, I had no idea what denomination it was. I mean, it’s huge, kind of Scientology building huge! The Scientology building in Kansas City is huge and most people who know nothing of Scientology know where that building is. Both of these buildings are quite eye catching and when described of it’s general location, most people can at least recall seeing the building before.

My roommate’s reaction was exactly this. She was like, “O…yes that huge building! Right across from Pinstripes bowling. What type of church is that?” So I go on to describe that upon earlier research I discovered that this building holds multiple sanctuaries. They offer like a million different service options on weekends, well maybe not quite a million, but allot of service options.

And upon even further research this morning, I came across more information on the building itself. There are approximately 20,000 limestone blocks that make up just part of the exterior building, representing the 20,000 current Resurrection members. There are seven stainless steel roof panels or “sails” that rise toward the heavens, a reminder of the seven days of creation, the seven days of Holy Week. Again, this building is quite a sight. Maybe when the current epidemic has passed, I will be able to go on a tour of the building. O, yes, did I mention that they offer tours five days a week.

I click into their live service, one minute late and the band and musicians are already half way through a song. I look over to the right side of my screen and there it shows that I am listening to a Modern Worship service. (they also offer a Traditional Worship service) Wow, this band has it all! They had the strings, a drummer, a keyboardist, a piano, electric guitars, a flute player and a handful of singers.

Right away I noticed that not only were the instruments diverse but so was the group of people leading worship. They were young, old, women, men, tall, short, light skinned, tan skinned, dark skinned. It was truly one big melting pot of people. I loved it! And for the first time on this journey, I thought to myself, I could have easily walked into this church and not felt like I stood out.

Now, at this point I should explain a little about myself and my past experiences. I was born in Guatemala, hence I am Hispanic. I have long black hair, brown skin, brown eyes, 5 foot 2 inches and fairly petite. As mentioned before in earlier blog posts, I grew up in a very small, very white town. To say that I stuck out like a sore thumb would be a bit of an under statement. I lived in a small predominately white town until I was almost 23. It was then that I made a break for it.

I am used to being the one that stands out for my looks and not in a, “O look at me and o-lala” kind of way but more of a, “Well she’s clearly different looking” kind of way. I am used to people coming up to me and asking where I am from. I am used to people looking at me and thinking that I am Asian. (I take no offense to this and it happens allot. I think it’s in the eyes.) The point is, I find comfort being in a highly diverse community. I feel incredibly more comfortable living in a city like Overland Park with a population of around 200,000 and counting. I can walk around Target or show up at a yoga class and I don’t stand out as the only person who isn’t white. It’s a great feeling!

I didn’t much feel like I stood out at the Atheist gathering, maybe because they were so open, accepting and welcoming that I didn’t think about standing out by the color of my skin. The Baptist church was mostly white but had a little diversity. The Mennonite church was all white except for one girl I noticed handing out attendance sheets. She looked like she may have been Asian. And the other churches I have visited online, well I can’t say for sure since I didn’t see the congregation, but all the leaders were fair skinned. Of course that doesn’t mean that they didn’t have a diverse congregation, maybe they did, maybe they didn’t, maybe I will never know. It really doesn’t matter if they did or didn’t, I wouldn’t have held anything against them if the congregations did lack some diversity. But all this going to say that this morning I did notice allot of diversity and I loved it!

There were many different reverends and pastors in today’s service. The service was a huge collage of all their different locations. There was Pastor Grant, Reverend Scott, Reverend Penny, Reverend Clough and Reverend Hamilton. The first pastor entered the video and said a prayer over the congregation. As she prayed the screen turned to a picture of Jesus in a stained glass window. I really liked this touch as my focus could either be on God, which wasn’t that the point during prayer, or I could rather close my eyes and not worry about missing anything on the screen for those few moments.

This church must always offer online services because they had such a hands on menu to the right of the screen. This clearly wasn’t their first time as they would say. I filled out my attendance card from an easy click of a button. There was also an icon to click if you needed to put in a prayer request or get more information about the church. Everything was nicely laid out and easy to navigate.

After a reading of Psalms 145:1-8, they had a solo from a nice gentleman. The music was very Disney like. Even the man’s voice was Disney like. I felt like the whole song could have been easily placed in the movie Aladdin. If Aladdin had had some sort of religious tie to God, of course. “And joyfully sing, and joyfully sing, and joyfully sing. I will exalt my God, my King!” Maybe this song could have been played when Aladdin enters the town as Prince Ali. (Could anyone else picture this or is it just me?)

After the wonderful solo, Reverend Hamilton came to the screen. He wasn’t able to be there in person at the church with everyone else because he had been sick last week and was following protocol by staying at home and quarantining. But the good news was that he said he was feeling allot better, almost 100% again!

He preached from the gospel of Luke. He retold the story of Mary and Martha and Jesus. It was Mary who sat at Jesus’s feet listening to him speak while Martha was running around in the background trying to get the meal ready for everyone. Martha finally asking Jesus to get her sister, Mary, to help her with the meal preparations. Jesus, acknowledging Martha’s concerns but then telling her that it was Mary who was fully benefiting from sitting at his feet. It was Mary who was choosing to listen to him and receive more of a blessing than Martha, who was running around and stressing over the meal.

There were a few points that Reverend Hamilton drew from these versus. One, that we all are either Type A or Type B personalities. That the Type A, the Martha’s, need the Type B, the Mary’s, and vise versa. We all need to have a little of both because both personality types are needed. Second, we as humans are not wired to multi task. We need to choose one thing to pay attention to it and give it our all. He spoke of his friend, restaurant owner of Nick and Jake’s who puts an emphasis on setting down the phones and engaging with those at the table. He offers little baskets at each table so that people can set their phones inside and focus on who they are sitting with rather than the latest message on their phones. He says, we must disconnect to reconnect. Love it!

The third point Reverend Hamilton points out is that we can all be a little more like Mary during this coronavirus. That this time of quarantining can be used engage with God. Overland Park and surrounding areas are officially enforcing a city wide shut down starting this Tuesday morning. Reverend Hamilton even offered the advice to say a prayer while we wash our hands, since we are all already spending half our day at the sink anyways. Soaps…bubbles…and Jesus. I could really pull out so much symbolism from that but I will spare you. You’re welcome!

Reverend Hamilton ended his sermon putting the emphasis on what the congregation can be doing to help those in need during this coronavirus time. He read some really heart felt stories of people who were coming together as a family and re-embracing time together without all the usual interruptions of a normal week. He read an email from a woman in the congregation who reached out to share how she had been blessed during these last few weeks. She was a waitress at a Deny’s restaurant but like most restaurants they had to close down. She always served a bible study group of men on Saturday mornings and received a call this week from one of the men who said that the whole group wanted to send her multiple week’s worth of tips. They just wanted to make sure she was okay and being taken care of. Yes, I may have shed some tears after hearing this story. There are some really awesome people out there!

The service ended with prayer, a time for giving and a worship song. The song was called, “There’s a Peace I’ve Come to Know.”

Reverend Hamilton said something that really stuck out to me, he said that we are all shaped the most through adverse times. He said usually no one wants to go back and relive those hard times in their lives but when we look back we can all see how much we grew from it. Hard times change us all, they change us for the good or the bad. Maybe it depends on your perspective on those times but never the less, they change us all.

I look back at my middle school years when I was constantly picked on and pointed out for looking different. I would never go back and relive those times but I am sure a hell of allot stronger because of that time. I also have the utmost empathy on anyone being discriminated or bullied. I don’t want anyone to feel left out because I know how that feels.

I didn’t expect to feel as uplifted and encouraged by today’s service as I ended up feeling. It was so refreshing to hear encouraging stories about good people helping others. That so many people are being forced in a way to slow down and reengage with their families and to hear the positive ways people are being effected. That people are putting toilet paper in front of neighbor’s doors who may not be able to get out and shop for that themselves. That there are good people out there that are making such powerful impacts through simple acts of kindness.

“Helping one person might not change the whole world, but it could change the world for one person.” -anonymous

“Come, let us sing to the Lord; let us shout for joy to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving and raise a loud shout to him with psalms.
For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods.” Psalm 95

This morning I attended the St. Thomas Episcopal Church of Overland Park via my bed. It looks like this is going to be the normal for visiting my 30 religions before 30, well for a while it seems. My mindset is still the same as last week, I do wish I could get that in person experience because I think so much more can be said for it but I won’t complain as it is also so convenient for me to sit here in my pajamas under the warm blankets and “attend” a service at my own convenience.

So to be fair today is Saturday, March 21st, and I am writing about last Sunday’s sermon, which was March 15th.

I will be honest, I really wasn’t sure what to expect from the St. Thomas Episcopal Church’s service. On their website they showed that they offered a Saturday evening service and two Sunday services. So, originally I had marked on my calendar that I wanted to attend a Saturday evening service. Their website describes their Saturday service as follows: Our Saturday evening service is a quieter service with hymns played on a grand piano and accompanied by a cantor. This service has a relaxed and contemplative feel.

I imagined myself sitting in the pews, eyes closed as I listened to their hymns play inside their church walls. I saw myself going into a meditative state where I just let the music flow in and out and all around me. Walking out with that relaxed and contemplative feel they so richly described.

But when the service options showed up on their face book page, my mouse clicked on their 10:45 am Sunday service. Apparently this morning I was feeling a different pace. And so I clicked on the video and never looked back.

The camera shot straight ahead to the front of the church. There was a pulpit and an alter setting. The alter had many candles and through the scope of the camera I could see that a large cross was placed on the back wall (or front, depending on how you want to describe it). There was what sounded like a choir being accompanied by a piano playing hymnal worship music in the background.

The first person to enter the video was who I thought of as a priest. But upon more research from their website I learned that their leaders are titled under Reverends. So, the first Reverend stepped on stage and lit a few more candles. He wore a white robe that came down all the way to his feet.

Then another Reverend came up to give the morning announcements. His name was Reverend Gav Demo and he is the head Reverend at St. Thomas. He also wore a white robe that draped down to his feet. He thanked everyone for showing up via the online service and said that we could leave any prayer requests in the comment box. I liked that they used facebook live as one of their main outlets (the other being you tube), as it let people still connect in a real time way. Community at it’s best via good old Facebook. Thanks Mark Zuckerberg and gang!

The service then really began with the choir and piano playing more music. This time was for prayer and reflections. As someone who grew up in a traditional Mennonite church setting, I am very familiar with the good old hymnals. By all means I wasn’t a fan when I was young, I thought them to be old and boring. And looking through the eyes of a child, yes, I can understand that. They aren’t by any means upbeat and or up to date with the current worship music of our times. But as someone who is a little older now, remember almost 30, I now see them as calming and simple in their ways. Simple, not meaning anything other than that I find my mind can be calm and steady while listening to them, entering into a meditative space.

There were many hymnals played or sung or both, during this service. The first hymnal that everyone was asked to sing was called, “Be Thou My Vision.” Right after the music ended the Reverend stood up and said that it was repentance time. He offered a prayer and told us to kneel if possible.

I’ll be honest, I have some PTCS (post traumatic church syndrome) with kneeling. Which I guess I should get over if I plan on attending a Catholic service at some point. (Maybe I can find a service online… they won’t know I didn’t kneel 20 times throughout the service, right?) Anyways, as a child I remember the pastor very rarely, I emphasize very rarely, asking the congregation to kneel. I don’t recall why we were asked to kneel, maybe it was in prayer, maybe it was for forgiveness. “Father, forgive me for feeling so utterly uncomfortable and despising that I am being asked to kneel right now! Can I please just disappear or could the rapture take place like right now, thanks! … Amen” -Me

It was just such a rare thing that I never grew accustomed to it. The process seemed foreign and it was in some strange way weird to see my parents kneel with the rest of the congregation. I felt so out of place and I’m sure I had the look of a dear in the headlights, filled with panic when the pastor would call upon the congregation to bow down. Everyone else looked so “into it”. They knelt down on both knees, bowed their heads, some would face the front of the room, others would turn around and bow down, face first on their chairs. (Think of the germs now on your face, really!)

Yes, I would kneel, so as not to be the only one standing, looking like what, I didn’t love Jesus or something and therefore wouldn’t bow before him? I took a knee and bowed my head, truly contemplating where we go for lunch in 30 minutes. Important things to think about, obviously.

So that is my story with taking a knee in church. And I imagine if I had attended St. Thomas in person, I would have had the deer in the headlights look and then looked around to make sure Everyone else was also kneeling. If there were a few who just sat, maybe my inner child would have spoke up within and said, yes, I can love Jesus and sit with the rest of you! And then I would have sat down.

Well after the singing and kneeling, it was time to jump into the meat of the service. The sermons, and yes that is plural.

The first sermon was from Exodus 17:1-7, although they call them readings, not sermons. Exodus 17 speaks of the Israelites complaining to God and Moses that they are in the wilderness without any water. God finally tells Moses to travel ahead of the people and strike a rock with his staff so that water will pour out for his people. After the reading, the Reverend and congregation said in unison, “Thanks be to God.”

And I should add, the Reverend did mention at the beginning with announcements that their doors were still open. He said that technically the in person services were now meant to be viewed online, but if one did decide to show up, they would not kick you out.

The second reading came from Romans 5:1-11. The Reverend summed up this reading by saying, “Suffering produces endurance, endurance produces hope and hope does not disappoint us. Thanks be to God.”

The third reading was from Reverend Kelly Demo. She read from John 4:5-42, which spoke of the Samaritan woman meeting Jesus at the well. They do actually read word for word each verse. From what I understand their service hand outs would have all the readings written out word for word. Each Reverend carried a hand out and they looked as though there were multiple pages, which makes sense because, besides announcements, everything that was read by a Reverend from which was in their hand outs.

After the third reading was finished, Reverend Gav Demo set down his Sunday hand out and spoke freely. He said that each Sunday the church’s outline readings were from what they called the lectionary. The lectionary gave the readings at random but often Reverend Demo said that he couldn’t help but notice how the readings often lined up with what was happening with the community in real time.

The Israelites were lost in the wilderness, they were terribly thirsty for water. Aren’t we all thirsty right now for community? We may not be lacking actual water but more so what the water stands for, something we so desperately need as human beings, community. We are being asked to social distance ourselves right now so as not to spread this virus, but yet it is our human desire to be close to one another in some extent or another.

In John we see the woman at the well sitting before Jesus. Again, aren’t we all thirsty for something right now. She may not have even know it, but she was thirsty for a savor, she was thirsty for “The living water.” Reverend Demo challenged those listening to take hope from Jesus and then to go out and share it in some way with others. Offering help (without physical contact) or reaching out and encouraging others during this time of crisis.

He ended his speech with saying this, “It’s okay to be frustrated, but just don’t stay there.” I loved this! Yes, it’s okay to feel whatever you may feel during this time, but just don’t hold onto that negative emotion for too long. It’s not going to get you anywhere better. Instead take in hope and let that be passed on to others right now.

The service ended with everyone reciting the Apostle’s Creed, singing another hymnal, the General Thanksgiving prayer, Reverend Mother Kelly praying the intercessions (prayer requests for that service), another prayer that everyone recited, a few ending announcements and then finally ending the last few minutes of the service with how it began, with music and the choir.

St. Thomas Episcopal Church of Overland Park was very traditional. I honestly didn’t know what to expect with visiting this church. Through the readings I felt a bit of a disconnect from the Reverends and well me. Maybe it was the lack of eye contact and the monotone voice of reciting the versus and prayers. It was when Reverend Demo finally set down his hand out and spoke from the heart that I started to see him for who he was. Someone who cared about his congregation and those viewing online. I finally saw passion for what he believed and connected to him as a human being.

Tradition is very important to many, if not all of us in some form or way. As I have gotten older, I have questioned the traditional ways I grew up with. And to be perfectly honest, I find myself in a place where I question more things than not. It’s where I am on this journey. Maybe even part of the reason why my 30 religions before 30 project has sparked such an interest in me. I think as I get older, I am shedding the skin of my past childhood traditions and find myself wanting to step foot on a path where I get to make up my own.

I call myself a Christian but through this journey I have picked up parts in other religions that I want to incorporate in my own life. The Atheist’s non judgmental mindset, the Buddhist’s meditation and chanting, the Baptist’s true love of music, the Mennonite’s tradition and modern mix and now the Episcopal’s ways of keeping hold of important traditions. All of these are beautiful in their own ways and are things that I too want to embody.

I just finished reading Michelle Obama’s latest book, Becoming, a few weeks ago and I took a picture of her last paragraph because it sent a chill down my spine and gave me butterflies in my stomach, which was a good mix! Here’s what she had to say…

“Le’ts invite one another in. Maybe then we can begin to fear less, to make fewer wrong assumptions, to let go of the biases and stereotypes that unnecessarily divide us. Maybe we can better embrace the ways we are the same. It’s not about being perfect. It’s not about where you get yourself in the end. There’s power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there’s grace in being willing to know and hear others. This for me, is how we become.” -Michelle Obama

Six rules of life from Buddha’s teaching and science:

Before you pray… Believe

Before you speak… Listen

Before you spend… Earn

Before you write… Think

Before you quit… Try

Before you die… Live

This morning I attended the Temple Buddhist Center of Kansas City via a live broadcast. I wanted so badly to attend a service this morning in person but because of the COVID-19 most places of gathering/ worship chose to go live stream.

I cannot complain as I was able to sleep in a little longer on this rainy and slightly chilly Sunday morning while also “attending” the Buddhist service in the comfort of my pajamas and warm bed.

And from what I have been reading and hearing, most places have chosen to close their doors for the rest of the month so as of this moment it seems like I may be “visiting” a few other places from the comfort of my bed. These are the times I really really appreciate how far technology has come. I may not have been physically sitting in front of anyone today, surrounded by other like minded beautiful people, but I was still able to experience something quite wonderful from the Buddhist Center of Kansas City this morning.

There are two different Buddhist temples on my list of places to visit this year. The one I was able to watch this morning was a western Buddhist gathering. The other will be a rime Buddhist temple. I am not 100% sure what the two differences are exactly but from what I have read so far it seems as though the western temple is a bit more modern. And I am hoping to visit in person the rime Buddhist temple on a later date.

This morning I had a handful of churches and temples to pick from… Wondering which religion to visit this morning via my lap top…

I figured, rainy morning and unfortunately a lack of sleep from the night before, I needed something calming and relaxing. I needed some meditation! And that was all she wrote, Buddhist temple here I came! Just a flew clicks away…

So I rolled out of bed and made my coffee, warmed up a bagel and slid back into bed for a new experience. The description on their website wrote that their service consisted of chanting, meditation, Dharma talk and loving kindness practice. Well, that sure sounds like a good service to me!

As I have written more about in my last posts, I grew up very conservative. Attending a Buddhist service would have been out of the question had I been invited fifteen years ago. But upon making my 30 religions before 30 list a few weeks ago, Buddhism was one of the religions I was most excited about visiting. So what happened between that gap of would Never Attend to Most Excited religion on my list?

Well, at age 13 I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. Before being diagnosed and starting medication, my body felt like an 80 year old’s body. I could hardly make it up the stairs to the second level of the house, my joints hurt so bad. And forget about opening up a can of anything, my hands were so swollen and achy.

But after a handful of doctor’s visits, I was diagnosed with arthritis in multiple joints. I was honestly so relieved to have finally been diagnosed with something, to give my pain a name. I wasn’t going crazy after all! The doctor’s told me that movement and stretching would help me out allot. So enters yoga, well kind of!

I didn’t get into yoga right away, actually the doctors didn’t even prescribe a regular yoga class but upon high school the choices were either weight class with all the football players or a yoga class held in the wrestling room with all girls. The choice was clear as anything heavy terrified me and caused my hands to get immediately sweaty. Woops, didn’t mean to drop that heavy pound weight on you Mr. senior caption of the football team.

Whether it was my sophomore or junior year of high school that yoga entered my life, I can’t remember, but that was when the door opened and I found my love for a new kind of movement/ exercise and meditation. I can still remember allot about those classes, where we were, what yoga videos we watched and laying there on that nasty wrestling room floor trying to meditate as best as I could without really knowing what I was doing.

As an adult I have been a member of multiple yoga gyms. It is my main form of exercise. I have also been certified as a yoga teacher with 500 hours of classes. I even found my way to a yoga retreat in Minnesota about two years ago. I have found such peace from meditation. I have used a few apps, some guided and some unguided. I can feel such a difference in my day when I slow my thoughts down and concentrate on my breathing. Meditation is such a beautiful process, especially in a world of go-go-go!

I’ll be honest, the only thing that I have not tried yet has been chanting. When I think of people chanting, I think of the movie, Eat Pray Love when Julia Roberts goes to India for three months to live in an ashram and there she is surrounded by a bunch of sweaty individuals chanting to their guru. Was the Buddhist temple to be anything like this, I had not a clue?

To best describe the Temple Buddhist Center of Kansas City, would be slow (in a good way), calming, peaceful and encouraging. The service was very simple and had a grace of flow that I recognized to be different than other services I’ve attended in the past. The service didn’t seem choppy or like they were rushing from one announcement to the next thing, there was instead time for many big inhales and slow exhales, especially before starting a new part of their service.

I’ll be honest, it’s been over an hour since I finished watching the service and I am still riding a feeling of calmness and tranquility. If you’ve ever been to yoga class and felt “in the zone,” this service also left me feeling something very similar to that peace and “in the zone” feeling.

There was some chanting but honestly nothing like Eat Pray Love. And upon more research I came to understand that an ashram is is a spiritual hermitage or a monastery in Indian religions, a bit different than a Buddhist practice. The chanting today was quite nice and nothing to the extremeness that I pictured beforehand. The chant wasn’t that long and in fact I wished it was a little longer.

There was guided meditation of about fifteen minutes and then a teaching from Robert Brumet. His topic was about turning poison into medicine. He used the acronyms ROAR to stand for 1. Recognizing 2. Observing 3. Applying 4. Relaxing

The three poisons are greed, craving and delusions. When we come up against the poisons we then recognize our own experience, observe and feel without judgement or prejudice, apply the remedy or antidote (example: craving we would relax and open) and finally relax or release what the feeling is. Therefore, turning our poisons into medicine for mind, body and soul.

After Mr. Brumet spoke, the director, Victor J. Dougherty, lead us all in a loving kindness practice. It went something like this, “May I/you be filled with loving kindness, May I/you be safe from inner and outer dangers, May I/ you be well in body and mind, May I/ you be at ease and happy.”

We repeated the loving kindness practice five times, each time thinking of someone new to send our good wills to. First, was ourselves, second was someone we cared about, third was for an acquaintance or a passer byer, the fourth was to a difficult person in our life, the fifth was to the world, all living creatures and all living humans.

The service ended with a beautiful closing dedication. Then Mr. Dougherty brought his hands to his heart, bowed his head, raised his hands in the air and wished us well with and ending, Namaste.

Today was the perfect day to welcome a little Buddhism into my day. I exited the service feeling more rested, uplifted and even encouraged as I began the start of another week.

And so I say to anyone reading this post, Namaste!

Closing Dedication: “May the pure, brilliant sun of Bodhicitta dawn in each and every heart and mind, dispelling the darkness of suffering and confusion unstoppably , until all are illumined and awakened.”

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.” H. Jackson Brown

As I drove to Rainbow Mennonite Church this morning I said a little prayer out loud. I prayed that I wouldn’t walk into this church with my past ideas and memories of how I grew up. These were new people, this was a new place of worship and to stay true to my main goal, I wanted to remain open minded.

As stated in my last blog post, I grew up from birth to around age 22 in a Mennonite church. And it wasn’t until last week when I attended a traditional Baptist church, that I realized I may have sore memories of the church that I grew up in.

As my roommate reminded me this week, just because we have moved past a time in our life, doesn’t mean that those feelings have gone away. Everything unresolved has a way of showing back up in our lives.

I wondered, how traditional would this church be? Did the word, Rainbow have anything to do with being gay or lesbian? Were they saying to the public that they were both traditional and yet welcoming of anyone no matter their sexual orientation? I remember when a good friend of mine that grew up with me in church came out that he was gay and a chunk of his family disowned him. I don’t remember ever seeing him in that church again. So was this church in any way associating their name with such a thing or was the name given a long time ago before people associated rainbows with gay pride? I was about to find out.

Off the highway and under the bridge and over the train tracks to Rainbow Mennonite I drove. There were cars over flowing out of the parking lot and into a one way street. I was so very glad that I spotted reserved visitor’s parking!

The first thing that I noticed was their play ground area. It was adjoining to their parking lot. It looked very well kept and as a nanny of a two year old, I am always keeping my eyes open for new parks to explore.

The building itself was made of stone and had a very traditional look with its stain glass windows. Upon walking in I was greeted by two very nice ladies at the welcome desk. First things first, find a bulletin! My keepsakes for every place I visit and it also makes for something to look at before service begins. (A plus since I don’t have a smart phone to look down at if feeling a bit non social at the beginning.)

These two ladies were very welcoming and seemed so very sweet and genuine. Smiles all around. One woman was even from my part of town which was roughly 20 minutes away. With so many other options for churches just minutes away from my door step, I sensed that she was dedicated to make the further drive out to this particular church. In my book crossing state lines from Kansas to Missouri means dedication!

I didn’t sit in the front row this time. I was flying solo today and so I felt my comfort zone pulling me into the middle of the crowd. The middle felt safe!

Bulletin in hand and head down as I began to read the line up for today’s service. Again, looking down at the bulletin is my go to and feels better than looking around like a dear in the headlights until the service begins.

It wasn’t until the announcer made her way up front that I really got to take in the beauty of this church. There was an organ up front and a big black grand piano on the opposite side of the stage. There was an alter with a wooden cross and purple and black scarfs draping behind it. The alter was made of wood but it wasn’t polished and shiny, it was very raw and natural looking.

What really caught my eye was the hanging chandelier lights. They were hanging from the white beams on the ceiling. The lights were almost identical to the ones I used to stare at every Sunday morning as a child. The color shading may have been a little lighter but other than that their appearance was identical.

The service began with reading Psalm 121 as a congregation. Reading out loud as a group feels very traditional to me. Something I have only experienced when visiting a Catholic or Lutheran service a few years ago.

Then we all stood and sang a hymn. O the hymnals! Opening up an old hymnal and reading each verse and seeing the musical notes just brought back a flood of memories. Ones of being in church as a child and others of being in music class. But the memories weren’t bad, in fact I found the song very peaceful and beautiful.

I also took notice that there was allot of white hair in the congregation. In fact almost the entire congregation was elderly. I noticed only a handful of men and woman in their early to mid 30’s and I literally mean I could count them on one hand.

There was an offering time. One with the children of the congregation and one with ushers passing around the offering plates. I came empty handed, only carrying in my car keys. It didn’t even dawn on me that some churches take up an offering during their services. I quickly passed the offering plate to the next person and during the children’s coin take up, I diligently didn’t make eye contact with the little ones. Woops…

I haven’t attended a church on a regular basis in probably 9 months now so I am a little forgetful for what all can be expected. And even more so I feel like I am walking into these churches a bit blind folded, I really have no idea what to expect. So note to self, maybe bring coins and some cash with me just in case the children come around with their big adorable eyes asking for your spare change.

Onto the preaching… I didn’t even realize the preaching had even started when the main speaker, a woman, walked on stage. She gave a little introduction and said that a man named Aaron had asked her a few Sunday’s ago if she would share a few chapters of John this Sunday. I thought she was going to read a few verses and then step away from the stage and then we would be onto the next part of the service. Well, she did not! She read and spoke on John and then eventually part way through her speech I realized that she was giving the message!

I really was paying attention but her introduction was a funny story of how excited she was when Aaron had asked her to read from John this morning and then how later he followed up by stating that she was to read only a few versus and then sit back down. Thinking he thought that was just enough for her. So whether or not she really could have just come up and read a few versus from John and then sat down or was expected to draw it out a bit more, I don’t know.

Her verse reading and sermon was well received. I later thought about it and realized that the reason I didn’t realize she was the main speaker giving the sermon was because the way she spoke was so down to earth. Her approach wasn’t like most pastor’s teachings. She didn’t direct us to turn in our Bibles to where she was going to be teaching from. She didn’t come across super serious, in fact she came across as the friend you meet for coffee and share a bunch of laughs with. It was so incredibly refreshing and I found myself really paying attention to what she was saying.

In one part of her speech she referenced a story about a college aged boy who was in an interview with a Baptist college. The boy was flying through the interview with all the “right” answers when one of the panelists asked him what the most important thing he wanted from his life. The boy gave the answer he thought they wanted to hear which was, get married to a wonderful woman and have children. The panelist who asked that question just stared at him for a few moments and then uttered these powerful words, “What if what you really wanted from life was what God actually wanted for your life too.”

The boy eventually became a pastor of a church in Colorado and also had the courage to come out that he was gay.

The moral of the sermon was to be aware of not forming our whole selves into the walls of the church. To hold onto what you believe in but to also find the courage to step out side of the rules and doctrines and find your relationship with God, however that may look for you. Wow! Drop the mick and walk away because that was some powerful stuff!

The service ended on a funny note where the woman announcer and the woman who preached stood up front and told a funny story relating to today’s special occasion, International Woman’s day! Also, making me wonder if today’s service was more focused on woman running the service or if woman have a high involvement in each service.

I am so grateful that I found my way to the Rainbow Mennonite Church this morning. The walls may have felt super traditional but the people said so much more. They were real and genuine and passionate. They were funny and I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect to laugh out loud with the congregation as many times as I did, in fact I didn’t expect to laugh at all.

This church had the opposite effect on me than what I expected when driving there today. It didn’t bring back not so happy past memories of the church I grew up in. Yes, there were some similarities but what I walked away with was seeing how real and genuine this church family was.

I recognized for a moment that maybe I have been concentrating on the black spot on the white piece of paper when referring to my childhood church community. Nobody is perfect and sure there was imperfection growing up. If you stick around a church or any type of community you become like family and shocker, all families have their fair share of drama. We also become the most offended by those that are the closest to us.

As a child I felt forced to attend church. It felt like the bigger focus was on the rules and less on the relationship with God. Sitting in the pews today I fully embraced my own personal adult relationship with God. A relationship that isn’t held up by so many rules and regulations but by true love and grace. A relationship where each day I know that God will meet me where I am at.

This morning I sat in the pews with a new peace and open mindedness. I was there this morning because I wanted to be. The chains of force weren’t on me today. That freedom changes everything. I was able to embrace their traditional and modern ways with a brand new peace in my heart.

“Sometimes in the wind of change, we find our true direction.” author unknown